It is our sad duty to inform the interested public of the passing of reason, manners, basic English language usage, and common sense. After suffering a long illness, they finally lost the battle to smartphones, social media, and the "interwebs." Cremation will be accorded, followed by a memorial service, during which a Dartmouth University English Major will read excerpts from Mark Twain and Shel Silverstein -- from an actual, tangible book.
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